There is absolutely nothing any of us can do to fix this.
Our culture puts it all on the individual instead of the system!
I can make all the good choices in the world but it's not enough. I hate this -- I want to fix it. But none of us can. We can only do certain small things.
Your book helped open up this approach to thing for me in terms of relationships but I think it's an overall good life concept. I've recently come across a western framing of the idea in the ancient Greek word ataraxia
I love this so much, so glad I found you! I think a lot (and sometimes write) about the tension between individual action and the systemic change we really need. And I'm also a late bloomer, finding my way in my early sixties. I've also been pondering how to cope in these times, which are as you say going to hurt a lot of people. I keep coming back to the fact that they can't take laughter and joy away from us, even if they want to. At the same time, we need to feel all of our feelings, even the dark ones. I think I'll try what you did and feel the pain for 20 minutes — great idea!
Sara, I always feel like you “play above the rim” when it comes to the English language, while I’m on the court, looking up, but reading this reminded me of my definition of stress: the distance between my expectations and reality. The shorter the distance, the less stress. The trick for me is first to realize that I’m feeling stress and then to really search for what the reality is, instead of kidding myself.
I have overcome my fear, but I cannot seem to let go of hope. I feel in my heart that humanity is not inherently this stupid and evil, and it pains me every day to continuously be proven wrong. Living in a fascist country against my will is my worst nightmare. If this is an ego problem, I have yet to see a way past it and I refuse to accept that surrenduring to the evil is a productive way forward. Im not sure if I will ever get over the rage I feel at all the hardship that comes next and that my own fellow citizens betrayed me and themselves to indulge in their base impulses of selfishness and hate. God help us all, we are going to need it.
I love your story. It has me thinking of mine, and at 76 I’ve been doing a lot of of that. Actually, I do that at least every 10 years, designating each zero birthday a midlife crisis and myself a “re-bloomer“. Gave birth to 3 girls in my 20s, became sort of born again and started a small daycare home in my 30s. Decided to go to college and began teaching in my 40s. Happily divorced, earned a masters degree, and found a loving partner in my 50s. Discovered Buddhism in my 60s, retired and became a caregiver to several family members. Now a bit more than halfway through my 70s, I’m not re-blooming yet, but I feel myself being pruned and replanted. I can’t wait to see what happens. I need to reread your essay as there is so much to learn from you.
Excellent work. I’m in this program that says you have to surrender to win, you have to give it away to get it, by serving others you save yourself. Its a way to diminish the self serving part of my self and letting the other , unconscious trapped self out
Thanks for this excellent piece! Also a late bloomer I loved how you identified feeling too old for your life.
I've been on a life curriculum of coming more into reality, which in the end means being with discomfort (and seeing it won't kill me, as you said), and also seeing how being with the discomfort of my conditioning, beliefs, resistances and witnessing them as neutrally as possible, can lead to fresh thoughts, new insights and in some cases the dissolving of some of that resistance and hopelessness.
More than ever it's seeing where I'm judging and critiquing my experience, and realizing it's not necessary or even true. And leaning into feeling the weather on my face, something I read somewhere, which to me = being in and of the world, more than living in the stormy weather of my imagination/thinking. Surrendering, and going IN to life, something like that?
My current strategies: darning socks, doing dishes, playing poignant video games like Lair of the Clockwork God, reading books about Elsewhere, or if here, then dystopian novels.
And… saying, “I’m going to sleep now” when parents on the phone start raving cultically.
You’ve articulated the space I’ve been in so beautifully. Thank you for this. ♥️
Thank you!
There is absolutely nothing any of us can do to fix this.
Our culture puts it all on the individual instead of the system!
I can make all the good choices in the world but it's not enough. I hate this -- I want to fix it. But none of us can. We can only do certain small things.
I know, it’s awful.
Thank you. This is where I am too.
Thanks. Yeah, it’s tough.
Your book helped open up this approach to thing for me in terms of relationships but I think it's an overall good life concept. I've recently come across a western framing of the idea in the ancient Greek word ataraxia
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ataraxia
Oh, love that! Thanks for sharing!
I love this so much, so glad I found you! I think a lot (and sometimes write) about the tension between individual action and the systemic change we really need. And I'm also a late bloomer, finding my way in my early sixties. I've also been pondering how to cope in these times, which are as you say going to hurt a lot of people. I keep coming back to the fact that they can't take laughter and joy away from us, even if they want to. At the same time, we need to feel all of our feelings, even the dark ones. I think I'll try what you did and feel the pain for 20 minutes — great idea!
Thank you, Rosanna! Yeah we are all trying to find our way through this!
Sara, I always feel like you “play above the rim” when it comes to the English language, while I’m on the court, looking up, but reading this reminded me of my definition of stress: the distance between my expectations and reality. The shorter the distance, the less stress. The trick for me is first to realize that I’m feeling stress and then to really search for what the reality is, instead of kidding myself.
That’s a great definition!
And to be clear, I have not come to grips with reality yet.
Me too! I’m writing these for myself first!
I have overcome my fear, but I cannot seem to let go of hope. I feel in my heart that humanity is not inherently this stupid and evil, and it pains me every day to continuously be proven wrong. Living in a fascist country against my will is my worst nightmare. If this is an ego problem, I have yet to see a way past it and I refuse to accept that surrenduring to the evil is a productive way forward. Im not sure if I will ever get over the rage I feel at all the hardship that comes next and that my own fellow citizens betrayed me and themselves to indulge in their base impulses of selfishness and hate. God help us all, we are going to need it.
Yes, we will definitely need help!
I really enjoyed this and so much resonated with me.
Thank you for telling me this, Sacha!
I love your story. It has me thinking of mine, and at 76 I’ve been doing a lot of of that. Actually, I do that at least every 10 years, designating each zero birthday a midlife crisis and myself a “re-bloomer“. Gave birth to 3 girls in my 20s, became sort of born again and started a small daycare home in my 30s. Decided to go to college and began teaching in my 40s. Happily divorced, earned a masters degree, and found a loving partner in my 50s. Discovered Buddhism in my 60s, retired and became a caregiver to several family members. Now a bit more than halfway through my 70s, I’m not re-blooming yet, but I feel myself being pruned and replanted. I can’t wait to see what happens. I need to reread your essay as there is so much to learn from you.
Thanks for sharing this! Re-bloomer--I love that!
I really appreciate your wise writing on "these times," as most such writing is ... not helpful.
Thank you! I'm mostly doing it to help myself, but so happy to know it's resonating!
Excellent work. I’m in this program that says you have to surrender to win, you have to give it away to get it, by serving others you save yourself. Its a way to diminish the self serving part of my self and letting the other , unconscious trapped self out
Glad to hear about this, Jon!
Thanks for this excellent piece! Also a late bloomer I loved how you identified feeling too old for your life.
I've been on a life curriculum of coming more into reality, which in the end means being with discomfort (and seeing it won't kill me, as you said), and also seeing how being with the discomfort of my conditioning, beliefs, resistances and witnessing them as neutrally as possible, can lead to fresh thoughts, new insights and in some cases the dissolving of some of that resistance and hopelessness.
More than ever it's seeing where I'm judging and critiquing my experience, and realizing it's not necessary or even true. And leaning into feeling the weather on my face, something I read somewhere, which to me = being in and of the world, more than living in the stormy weather of my imagination/thinking. Surrendering, and going IN to life, something like that?
Yes, love this. Surrender is going into life!
Not giving up, but letting go of hope and fear.
yes!
My current strategies: darning socks, doing dishes, playing poignant video games like Lair of the Clockwork God, reading books about Elsewhere, or if here, then dystopian novels.
And… saying, “I’m going to sleep now” when parents on the phone start raving cultically.
Good strategies!