What an insightful article. Growing up, my dad used to say about money: save some, pay your bills and enjoy some, you must enjoy the money you worked to get.
In my life, I've not qualified for credit cards, until I did. I then learned the trap of loans and the interest rates as a jail sentence. Decades later, I follow my dad's advice, save, pay bills and enjoy what I work for.
Being able to manage money versus being managed by money is key.
Being content with what I had/have, helped me immensely. I no longer needed to jump to buy that new "thing". 'Keeping up with the Jones's' was a trap that I fell for too often. The new clothes, shoes, car or home renovations. It is all geared to spend, spend, spend, but very little satisfaction or contentment.
And there are more traps for spending than saving or giving, as in tithes to the church.
We cannot get away from advertisements. They are all over everything, all the time, and now you have the option to still spend / pay to not see "ads" so there are traps hardwired to spend.
I cut the cable "cord" over 20 years ago. I remember when the big draw to pay for cable was no commercials, well that went by the wayside.
Fast foods, another trap to spend in our fast, getting faster, paced culture.
Eventually, I think, I hope, we learn, less is more.
Thank you for this. It was so helpful to articulate the guilt and shame around spending that so many of us have internalized. Like you, I was raised to be frugal, save for the future, never buy retail. That's good! In lots of ways! But it creates a kind of pathology. When, for example, does "the future" arrive? When is it OK to spend money you've saved? We all become mini-Scrooges, squirreling away.
It reminded me of when I was saving to fix our very outdated kitchen, and the various encouragements I received from banking apps as that account got larger--way to go! Well done! And when I spent that very money *on the thing for which it was saved,* I began to receive very concerned messages instead: "you're spending much more than you earned this month, please be aware, you might want to watch your budget." It was a bot. It didn't matter. But I felt such anxiety and shame, as if I had failed somehow. I have truly internalized the idea that money is ONLY for saving, never for using.
What an insightful article. Growing up, my dad used to say about money: save some, pay your bills and enjoy some, you must enjoy the money you worked to get.
In my life, I've not qualified for credit cards, until I did. I then learned the trap of loans and the interest rates as a jail sentence. Decades later, I follow my dad's advice, save, pay bills and enjoy what I work for.
Being able to manage money versus being managed by money is key.
Being content with what I had/have, helped me immensely. I no longer needed to jump to buy that new "thing". 'Keeping up with the Jones's' was a trap that I fell for too often. The new clothes, shoes, car or home renovations. It is all geared to spend, spend, spend, but very little satisfaction or contentment.
And there are more traps for spending than saving or giving, as in tithes to the church.
We cannot get away from advertisements. They are all over everything, all the time, and now you have the option to still spend / pay to not see "ads" so there are traps hardwired to spend.
I cut the cable "cord" over 20 years ago. I remember when the big draw to pay for cable was no commercials, well that went by the wayside.
Fast foods, another trap to spend in our fast, getting faster, paced culture.
Eventually, I think, I hope, we learn, less is more.
Thanks for sharing, Irma. I love your dad's philosophy!
Thank you for this. It was so helpful to articulate the guilt and shame around spending that so many of us have internalized. Like you, I was raised to be frugal, save for the future, never buy retail. That's good! In lots of ways! But it creates a kind of pathology. When, for example, does "the future" arrive? When is it OK to spend money you've saved? We all become mini-Scrooges, squirreling away.
It reminded me of when I was saving to fix our very outdated kitchen, and the various encouragements I received from banking apps as that account got larger--way to go! Well done! And when I spent that very money *on the thing for which it was saved,* I began to receive very concerned messages instead: "you're spending much more than you earned this month, please be aware, you might want to watch your budget." It was a bot. It didn't matter. But I felt such anxiety and shame, as if I had failed somehow. I have truly internalized the idea that money is ONLY for saving, never for using.
Gonna think about this one for a while.
Wow, fascinating about that banking app. And thanks for this. Gotta figure out how to tag Dana!