I've been a chess player for a good 10 years now and about 5 years ago I started helping with tournaments, setting them up, organizing and making sure things run smoothly. I don't really like that part of the scene.
But I recognize that without that type of participation the tournaments that I go to don't happen. So while my volunteering isn't always super-satisfying in itself it promotes the ecosystem that lets me enjoy games. And I also find that there is a respect from others that comes as they recognize you as part of the system that makes things happen.
So I think volunteering as such isn't as important as being part of something that you believe in. I don't think you have to get good vibes from all your work, but you also need to recognise when it's not helping you or the others there.
I loved this. A lovely piece illuminating just another part of the broken machine we've all found ourselves existing within. The "self-help" industry is really just a watered down, less nuanced and educated version of the mental health industry and religion. Unfortunately, we've allowed people to take in wisdom without the discretion to understand which piece of genuinely good advice is appropriate for the time.
A rich and complex topic. Thanks to Patrick for opening the door behind unemployment job groups. On the one hand, it's good to hear that there are "clubs" where folks can learn they're not alone, but on the other, it would be nice to hear some success stories, too. I would imagine someone eventually got out and found new work.
I don't think all the self-help is horrible, but it's ironic that the disadvantaged kids were getting the "resilient" speech when it feels like the post-Covid kids should be getting this. (I say this as a teacher) So, it's a case of misplaced well-meaning help. Which is one of the reasons why looking for work is so tricky, folks need tailored guidance, it's not a one-size fits all. So how do you to that?
But as unemployment and homelessness continues to grow, this issue will inevitably come to the forefront for everyone, not just those laid off. Thanks for the thought-provoking interview, Sara.
Glad to know it, it was a long piece, and I actually cut a lot, but he was so interesting and explained everything so clearly that I decided to keep it long.
It unveiled multiple aspects of our current socioeconomy culture - the political environment of power being shifted to employers, the superficial government-sponsored social services, and this damn culture of “if you want it enough and work hard enough, then you can realize the dream of ‘upward mobility’” - it might be true at some point in our history, but not anymore.
P.S. Job “over-qualification” is never in my dictionary - you are either qualified or not qualified. If someone tells you the reason you are not getting the job is that you are “over-qualified”, you know it is BS.
This was such a good read. I found myself nodding and recognizing all of these scenarios when I was looking for a job after university here in Europe. I kept being rejected even for jobs that seemed tailor-made for my profile. I sought out help from three different so-called coaches and they each matched the cases in the article. The worst was the one who basically told me my whole identity was the reason no one wanted to hire me, as if I could do anything to change that, and then has the audacity to suggest I asked for ridiculously low annual salaries (modern slavery wages, really) because, according to him, no one would pay me more than that. Demoralizing and had me crying for days but thankfully I was able to see later on that a company was willing to actually pay me more than double the amount he thought I could get. I guess the most helpful coach was the one who at least acknowledged the actual systemic problem before selling the mindset stuff. Being validated by being told the problem wasn't me but the system was the only thing that made it possible for me to dig myself out of the hole I was in mindset-wise.
Good point. Perhaps some people cling too much to the idea that everything is within one's control because they're afraid to accept that some things are beyond our control. I think we all need to learn to live in that dance between do all you can to improve your circumstances or achieve your goals and understand that no matter how hard you work, sometimes you need luck for things to pan out.
This is an important topic, thank you for sharing. As someone with multiple coaching certificates and who has been swimming in the coaching world, I have seen this sort of thing. I’ve become somewhat disillusioned by the coaching industry because of it. I gave up on my own coaching practice when I felt that I could not promise all these results I was trained to promise people. I agree that some of the tools are helpful, but also agree that we can’t ignore the systemic issues holding us back.
I remember trying to find jobs when I was younger, and having to deal with companies that the applicant paid to find jobs. They were incredible con games.
I've been a chess player for a good 10 years now and about 5 years ago I started helping with tournaments, setting them up, organizing and making sure things run smoothly. I don't really like that part of the scene.
But I recognize that without that type of participation the tournaments that I go to don't happen. So while my volunteering isn't always super-satisfying in itself it promotes the ecosystem that lets me enjoy games. And I also find that there is a respect from others that comes as they recognize you as part of the system that makes things happen.
So I think volunteering as such isn't as important as being part of something that you believe in. I don't think you have to get good vibes from all your work, but you also need to recognise when it's not helping you or the others there.
I loved this. A lovely piece illuminating just another part of the broken machine we've all found ourselves existing within. The "self-help" industry is really just a watered down, less nuanced and educated version of the mental health industry and religion. Unfortunately, we've allowed people to take in wisdom without the discretion to understand which piece of genuinely good advice is appropriate for the time.
thank you for this!
A rich and complex topic. Thanks to Patrick for opening the door behind unemployment job groups. On the one hand, it's good to hear that there are "clubs" where folks can learn they're not alone, but on the other, it would be nice to hear some success stories, too. I would imagine someone eventually got out and found new work.
I don't think all the self-help is horrible, but it's ironic that the disadvantaged kids were getting the "resilient" speech when it feels like the post-Covid kids should be getting this. (I say this as a teacher) So, it's a case of misplaced well-meaning help. Which is one of the reasons why looking for work is so tricky, folks need tailored guidance, it's not a one-size fits all. So how do you to that?
But as unemployment and homelessness continues to grow, this issue will inevitably come to the forefront for everyone, not just those laid off. Thanks for the thought-provoking interview, Sara.
Thanks, Lani!
Really really interesting read! I particularly liked the interview-transcript style of the article. Made it easy to read
Glad to know it, it was a long piece, and I actually cut a lot, but he was so interesting and explained everything so clearly that I decided to keep it long.
Sara, this is a great piece!
It unveiled multiple aspects of our current socioeconomy culture - the political environment of power being shifted to employers, the superficial government-sponsored social services, and this damn culture of “if you want it enough and work hard enough, then you can realize the dream of ‘upward mobility’” - it might be true at some point in our history, but not anymore.
P.S. Job “over-qualification” is never in my dictionary - you are either qualified or not qualified. If someone tells you the reason you are not getting the job is that you are “over-qualified”, you know it is BS.
Such a good point! Thanks, Yi.
This was such a good read. I found myself nodding and recognizing all of these scenarios when I was looking for a job after university here in Europe. I kept being rejected even for jobs that seemed tailor-made for my profile. I sought out help from three different so-called coaches and they each matched the cases in the article. The worst was the one who basically told me my whole identity was the reason no one wanted to hire me, as if I could do anything to change that, and then has the audacity to suggest I asked for ridiculously low annual salaries (modern slavery wages, really) because, according to him, no one would pay me more than that. Demoralizing and had me crying for days but thankfully I was able to see later on that a company was willing to actually pay me more than double the amount he thought I could get. I guess the most helpful coach was the one who at least acknowledged the actual systemic problem before selling the mindset stuff. Being validated by being told the problem wasn't me but the system was the only thing that made it possible for me to dig myself out of the hole I was in mindset-wise.
Thanks Ari, that is a helpful insight. I think people assume it's demotivating to be told it's not your fault, but often the opposite is true.
Good point. Perhaps some people cling too much to the idea that everything is within one's control because they're afraid to accept that some things are beyond our control. I think we all need to learn to live in that dance between do all you can to improve your circumstances or achieve your goals and understand that no matter how hard you work, sometimes you need luck for things to pan out.
This is an important topic, thank you for sharing. As someone with multiple coaching certificates and who has been swimming in the coaching world, I have seen this sort of thing. I’ve become somewhat disillusioned by the coaching industry because of it. I gave up on my own coaching practice when I felt that I could not promise all these results I was trained to promise people. I agree that some of the tools are helpful, but also agree that we can’t ignore the systemic issues holding us back.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Kim!
This is awful.
I remember trying to find jobs when I was younger, and having to deal with companies that the applicant paid to find jobs. They were incredible con games.
Oh, that is terrible!
They actually went out of business sometime later.
I laughed hard.
I got my job through a classified ad in The New York Times, and have been here 25 years.